Special Needs
by sodapopcurtisloverwhovian
Summary: Eventual Sirius x Remus, rated T for angst and may later include drug use. Remus feels like he's just a burden for his friends and Sirius is their to make him feel better
1. Chapter 1

Story playlist ; you don't care about us by placebo , special needs by placebo and protege mio by placebo

Just some songs i think fit this chapter not sure if i'll do it next time

Remus had enough reasons his friends should not stand him. He's a danger, a werewolf, what if he bit or worse yet killed someone. Bad enough he was in love with Sirius Black, his best friend. What would his friends think, surely they'd abandon him, he was lucky they even put up with him. It wasn't fair to do this to them, he was too much work for what little he was worth.

He decided in that moment that he would no longer burden those around, what that meant he didn't know. Running away, dying. He would do it by next week, he'd have to start packing now before his roommates came back. No, he couldn't hold his friends back like this for another day, he'd run away today.

After dinner the Marauders (James, Remus, Sirius and Peter) all made it back to their rooms. His roommates talked avidly of James's plan to woo Lily.

The young werewolf wrote his goodbye letter to Sirius he couldn't bring himself to leave anything for his other friends. 'You're so selfish, can't even thank them for what they've done for you.' he thought to himself. He could feel tears fall down his face.

"Moony are you alright?" Sirius tenderly touched Remus's knee.

"Yeah I'm fine." before they could ask any other questions the honey haired boy ran to the boys bathroom.

'Way to go to make a scene now there'll never let you out of there sight.' he harshly criticized himself. He heard a knock on his stall "Moony are you alright? Please let me in." It was Sirius, he was such a good friend much better than Remus deserved.

"I'm fine, is it just you?"

"Yes of course, now please tell me what's wrong?"

"I just can't. Please leave."

"I'm tired of losing people, let me help you." Remus could feel a flood of tears run down his face.

"I'm so sorry I can't do this, you don't understand."

"Then explain to me." Sirius was now crying as well,

"I can't lose you too Moony. I can't."

"I'm sorry Sirius I really am."

"Don't do this Moony."

"I'll be back in a minute once I get myself collected."

"Moony…"

"Go I'll be right behind you I promise I just need a minute." he could hear Sirius leave, he continued writing.

Dear Sirius

This isn't your fault your great friend to good I don't deserve you, or any of the marauders. You're a better friend than I deserve. There's a secret i've hidden for too long. I love you, I know you couldn't possibly feel the same. By the time you read this I will be gone, maybe not dead but gone, for sure.

Goodbye, yours truly

Remus Lupin

Remus whipped his face and went back to his dorm, everyone was asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter playlist; "Soulmate, Twenty Years" by Placebro, Suede Down ,

Remus was confused about what he should do next, was it true was Sirius had said? Could he really not bear to lose him? Maybe he was making the wrong choice. No Sirius didn't understand what kind of monster he really was. In the end what matter most was Sirius and his well being. And nothing could be well as long as Remus was in his life.

He devised a plan, around midnight he would get out of his bed and collect his bag then he would slip his letter into Sirius's hand while he slept. Remus knew almost all the passageways out the castle. After he got out he would take the secret entrance to Honeydukes in Hogwarts and stock up supplies. From there he would sleep in the Shrieking Shack for the night.

He decided that he would stay near Hogwarts so he could use the shrieking for his transformations and sleep there, once he was sure they'd given up trying to find him.

Sirius Black had had the weirdest dream in it Monny had placed a piece of paper in his hand, he was crying, but why? When he woke up the next morning his worst fears were realized.

A small paper was in his hand as he read it his heart sank, this was all his fault. If he would have just told him how he felt last night, what Remus meant to him Remus would still be here.

Remus would know that he was loved. He would be here smiling, but no he was too much of a coward 'How could they have sorted me into Gryffindor' he wasn't even brave enough to tell his best friend how he felt, even if it would have saved his life. He would have to find him, he would save him, it can't be too late. He stuffed the paper in his pocket .

He started by transforming into an ambiguous form of a large dog.


End file.
